Matrix Gazette -

Man Drives Stolen Excavator into Hospital
By Tom White on January 11, 2021
Jacksonville, Florida - January 2, 2021 A man stole an excavator and wrecked part of the maternity wing at the Baptist...
Florida Man Attacks Girlfriend with Pumpkin
By Tom White on January 11, 2021
Largo, Florida - October 22, 2020 Authorities arrested a Florida man after he attacked his girlfriend with a pumpkin in their...
Stolen Garbage Truck Stopped with Spike Belt
By Tom White on January 11, 2021
Vancouver, Canada - October 13, 2020 An RCMP detachment responded to reports that a garbage truck had been stolen. They were...
Depressed? Want to Feel Worse?
By Tom White on January 4, 2021
Tokyo, Japan - December 13, 2020 Tokyo has a cafe lounge that’s for negative people, the Negative Cafe and Bar Mori...
20,000 Pounds of Cheese Balls Cover Highway
By Tom White on January 4, 2021
Montgomery County, Maryland - December 22, 2020 A tractor-trailer overturned on I-95 Montgomery County and spilled its load of 20,000 pounds...
Florida Man Arrested for Driving on Highway with Light Pole Strapped to Car Roof
By Tom White on December 28, 2020
Tampa, Florida - November 16, 2020 Douglas Allen Hatley, 71, was pulled over on a Tampa roadway after another driver reported...
Man Dressed As Santa Gets Stuck In Power Lines
By Tom White on December 28, 2020
Rio Linda, California - December 22, 2020 A California man impersonating Santa Claus and flying on a powered parachute was rescued...
Tired of Shoveling Snow? Use a Flamethrower
By Tom White on December 28, 2020
Ashland, Kentucky - December 26, 2020 A man cleared his driveway with a flamethrower surprising people in passing cars. He then...
Portable Toilet Company Stages Holiday Show with Singing Johns
By Tom White on December 21, 2020
Gary, Indiana - December 10, 2020 Service Sanitation uses its portable toilets for an annual light show set to music with...
Director Spike Lee to Direct Movie Musical featuring Viagra
By Tom White on December 21, 2020
Hollywood, California - November 17, 2020 Spike Lee will direct the as-yet-untitled film from a screenplay he has co-written about the...
Naked Man Drives Car into Grocery Store
By Tom White on December 21, 2020
Columbia Falls, Montana - November 17, 2020 A man who crashed his car into a Montana grocery store and fled the...
Motion-detecting Robot Wolves keep Takikawa Safe from Wayward Bears
By Tom White on December 14, 2020
November 12, 2020 - Takikawa, Japan A Japanese town is protecting itself from wandering bears with a pair of unusual guardians:...
Stolen Bigfoot Statue Found in Santa Cruz County
By Tom White on December 14, 2020
Scotts Valley, California - November 12, 2020 Police officers in the mountains north of Santa Cruz responded to a report of...
Hey Vladimir, There’s a Robot at the Door with Your Dinner
By Tom White on December 14, 2020
Moscow, Russia - December 9, 2020 A suitcase-sized vehicle, called the Yandex.Rover, started delivering restaurant orders to customers in central Moscow....
Deer Steals Hunter’s Rifle
By Tom White on December 7, 2020
Prague, Czech Republic - November 24, 2020 A deer, frightened by a dog, ran toward a hunting party, tore one hunter's...
Lucky Lottery Winner Scores Five Tons of Asphalt
By Tom White on December 7, 2020
Bashkiria, Russia - November 7, 2020 A local newspaper ran a lottery among its subscribers. This year, there were two main...
Man Living in Grocery Discoved after Falling through Ceiling
By Tom White on December 7, 2020
Fernley, Nevada - October 20, 2020 A man who had been living in the rafters of Raley’s Grocery store was arrested...

Featured

How Trump Lost His Legacy

By Ken West on January 11, 2021

Pretend you are Donald Trump. Despite your unconventional and sometimes inflammatory rhetoric, you accomplished many important things in your four years in office. But somehow…

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