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A Visitor from a Distant Galaxy Probes Earth’s Dominant Political Philosophy

Last updated on July 27, 2020

Imagine a visitor from a distant galaxy who comes down to planet Earth. He takes the form of a normal Earthling. His mission is to find out what political philosophy is dominant on Earth (in preparation to an eventual takeover of the planet).

His small spacecraft lands on an abandoned softball field in Bangor, Maine. From there, he takes the next few months travelling around the country in a stolen Ford Focus.

He finally ends up in San Diego (where a return space pod is waiting for him in a secret sea cave that’s off limits to the general public). Under cover of darkness, he returns to his distant planet with the following report:

First, don’t be alarmed when you see people wearing masks. Apparently, it’s some sort of collectivist or tribal ritual.

The dominant political philosophy is a combination of Collectivism and Individualism. It appears that Collectivism has the upper hand, but Individualism is fighting back.

In general, Earthlings who favor Collectivism are called “Democrats” or “Socialists” and have the following traits:

  1. Want expansive government to solve all problems.
  2. Distrust those who openly disagree with the dictates of government.
  3. Believe in a “collective will,” of which government is the Implementer-in-Chief.
  4. Seek more “benefits” from government even at the cost of restrictions to individual action.
  5. Get a sense of self-worth from being part of a collective.
  6. Views Rights as material benefits and resources taken from others.

Earthlings who favor Individualism are called “Republicans” or “Libertarians” or “Independents.”  They display the following traits:

  1. Seek smaller, less intrusive government, limited to protecting individual rights.
  2. Trust their own judgment and ability to live life as free individuals, not members of a vast collective.
  3. Government as servant, not master. Its job is to protect individuals against force and fraud by enforcing objective laws designed to protect rights, not deny them.
  4. View government “benefits” as exerting too onerous a price in taxes, deficits, and, most importantly, loss of freedom.
  5. Seek self-worth through productive work, not collective action.
  6. Views Rights as freedom of action, not material values taken from someone else.

Recommendations, based on the above information:

  1. If we still seek to take over planet Earth, starting with America, it is imperative that we ban guns immediately. The Individualists, to a large extent, are armed and ready to defend themselves. The Collectivists, on the other hand, will support us in this effort.
  2. Ban books favored by Individualists, exemplified by such works as Atlas Shrugged, Nineteen Eighty-Four, and The Road to Serfdom, to name just a few.
  3. Require all “bloggers” to be licensed. Jail those who refuse.
  4. Promise the Collectivists (Democrats and Socialists) more benefits and government largesse. If any of them get suspicious, promise them high positions with fancy titles in the new government.
  5. If necessary, utilize the techniques developed in other periods of Earth’s history, such as slavery, segregation, confiscation, labor camps, torture, and mass executions.
  6. Be ready for major push-back from the Individualists.
  7. Enlist the help and support of the Collectivists, especially the media, who will eagerly assist us in our effort to suppress the Individualists.
  8. Come up with spiffy slogans such as “Hope and Change,” “Free Lunches for Everyone,” “Medicare Care for All,” “Ban All Guns,” “Guaranteed Minimum Wage,” “Socialism Saves,” etc., etc., etc.
  9. As with all these efforts, enlist the Collectivists. They will sell us the rope to hang everyone with.

But don’t forget: Beware of the Individualists. They are the one group who could spoil our plans for world domination.

A hint: Make them wear masks. (After doing some investigation, I discovered that masks were not just a collectivist ritual, but a means of social control. Seems to work to keep them compliant and obedient.)

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